After graduating from Mt. Lebanon HS in Pittsburgh, I attended Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) with no clear intentions other than "GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE!" I left (er...asked to leave) after two years with a higher blood alcohol level than my GPA. My parents were so proud. Oh, and how they loved to hear me explain to friends and family "I didn't make the Dean's List, but I made the Jim Beam's List." Hmmmm... good times. Anyway, I floated around from job to job for a while before I ended up finding something I really enjoyed: Midget Hookers (er... short pleasure slaves?). Actually it was stand up comedy. I spent seven years until 1995 working a circuit of colleges and clubs that allowed me to see over 20 states and a hundred different cities. I opened up for great comics like Dennis Miller, Drew Carey, Paul Reiser, and Adam Sandler. It was a great time that made me very little money, and then I met Marcie in Philadelphia, PA.
Marcie is a sadistic person who enjoys frustration, pain, and anxiety. Therefore she married me and agreed to have two children that we are 98% certain are from me. Hey, you can't have two perfect children like these and automatically assume that they're mine! We've been married 10 years now with David (6), Dylan (2 1/2), Teddy (dog), and Bob (mean ol' SOB of a cat who simply needs to 'go to the light'). Marcie obtained two Master's degrees that we are proud to say will probably have the school loans inherited by our grandchildren. She teaches, and is really happy with working with 7th and 8th graders. Like I said, she's sadistic. Does anyone remember retiring two 8th grade teachers out of Hale Middle School in Stow?? We had a magazine fund drive for children in Africa, and our class had the brilliant idea to break into the storage closet housing all of the incentive prizes - including rock t-shirts from Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Bruce Springstein, Peter Frampton, and Rush. What a bunch of idiots we were...LOL.
So now we live in Philadelphia, PA and we love it. We're 15 minutes out of the city, 1hr away from the beach, and 2hr away from NYC. I took my love for the stage and became a licensed fundraising auctioneer. For 10 years I assisted non-profit organizations generate over $2 million in revenue, and was able to create my own company that worked alongside of Boys and Girls Club, Ronald McDonald House, Childrens Hospital of PA, and every church basement you could imagine. I have since taken my ownership experiences and rolled them into a Sales Development Manager of Staples (the arch nemesis of Dunder Mifflin). I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I do, but then receiving a guaranteed weekly pay check can become rather addictive!
Aside from work, I do a lot of hiking with the family and the dog (Marcie won't let me bring the cat...), golf, pool, poker (made the money at Borgata Summer Open in AC), softball, and watching the Red Sox.
Did you think I was kidding about this cat?? FREE TO A GOOD HOME or a pleasant midget hooker...See you all in 6 weeks!
Peace,
Jeff
40 comments:
That cat is a riot!
Hey Jeff that post was a hoot! But I don't get the Dunder Mifflin reference....
Dunder Mifflin is the office supply paper company in the NBC sitcom "The Office". Staples ironically has a working relationship with NBC on this sitcom. One of the episodes had NBC requesting over a dozen paper shredders because one of their characters "Dwayne" thought that if it can shred a CD or Credit Card, it would naturally shred lettuce into a fine salad for lunch. Don't try this at home boys and girls... NBC requested an additional dozen shredders from Staples because they jammed during the scene.
Dwight Schrute shreds the credit card. I love that show!
5'10"??? I don't believe it!!!
Dwayne, Dwight, Dimitri...whatever - LOL. I'm glad I remember my kids names for cryin out loud!
6' with pumps Amy, but that's a WHOLE different blog - HAHA
I just laughed so hard I cried! That cat is awesome! :D
Jeff, Didn't we get married in 5th grade I think Donica was a witness!!!!!
Aaaahhhhh....5th grade. When love was pure and innocent, and a young lad could marry a dozen girls without anyone judging. I should have become a mormon I think...lol.
Little story as to the state of my mind in 5th grade: Had a HUGE crush on a girl Donna (Robaschad?) who was moving to Canada. On the morning of her last day at Center School (Stow) I was scurrying around to find SOMETHING to give her... no luck. I gave her a dollar. That's right, I gave her my lunch money. Nothing screams "I'll miss you with all my heart for as long as I shall live!" like a dollar (which was probably damp from my sweaty nervous hands...lol). Do you know that woman has never called me back?? Women!!
Jeff, I must say I am terribly upset. I always thought I was the only girl for you...well, except of course, once you met your wife.
Aside from the whole illegality of polygamy, I would think it would be great. Always have someone to help around the house, your husband always has someone else to get sex from instead of bugging you, always have someone to chat with...sooo many upsides...
Jenny - Jeff is gaining on you.
Are you applying for the position Hil?? You know I love ya!
Maybe I am or Maybe I AM!
OMG
Is my mind going???? I do not remember being a witness to the wedding of Kris & Jeff.... wait something is trying to come through... was there another guy as a witness as well (mark Agustus -maybe)? I seem to remember a 4-some. I do not remember a Donna either... was she in Mr. Delvisco's class? ahh... youth is wasted on the young!
Jeff where outside of Philly are you ... I frequest West Chester often.
Donica, I'm sure Mark Agustus could have been present at that event.Under the Willow TRee.Ahhh the memories. I am not recalling a Donna as well. HMMMMM!!!
Funny story though Do you remember Debbie Faford? Her son and my son Mason are friends in the same 2nd Grade class. Wierd!!!
Mark Augusta may very well have been a witness, but due to his current status as Massachusetts State Trooper he probably will deny most everything that I could get him in trouble for...lol.
Donna was "bff" with Sally Supinski (ring a bell, or am I just making up my youth as I go along??). I was in Mrs. Lindstrom's class in Center School. Mr. Delvisco is someone I would LOVE to run into now that I am a grown adult. Have a few things I wouldn't mind having a "conversation" with him about.
Speaking of teachers. Are any of them going to be present at the reunion? I'd love to meet up with Chemistry teacher Larry Hill (remember him shaving his head for "Annie") and History teacher Mr. Eilerman (where I sat behind Hil). What a goof ball he was...lol.
How come in the movies and on tv they always have the reunions in the school gym and that never happens in real life? I think that would be awesome! Probably some sort of drinking on school property policy but...that's been broken before.
it was broken by US in 1985, 86, and 87...
See it is things like that... "my son is good friends with Debbie Fafords son" that freaks me out... not that their friends mind you... but that you both have sons... and they are both in 2nd grade... and he is your younger of the 2! STOP THE INSANITY!!!!
Jeff, I remember Sally Supinski... but I remeber her good friends being the blond gymnist, Heater who moved to Acton and Monique Penseneault. It could be that I did not run in the same circles as she on the play ground at recess... that was the first year for me (& Kris) in the Stow school system.
Jeff you look exactly the same. I remember you lived right next door to Mark Odom on Kirland Drive. I recently drove Harvard Acres with my boy Tim, aged 9. He saw all the kids getting off the school bus and going out to play with their neighborhood friends. He decided immediately decided that we need to move over to the US and move to Harvard Acres. That was a good place for kids to grow up. See you in October!
I think I prefer the venue we have over the gym - the gym would remind me of a dance and I'd just be waiting for my wife to shoot me down when I finally get the nerve to ask her for the last dance.
As for the alcohol thing....yeah I remember mixing our own potions on the last day of chemistry class with Mr. Cheery (sic) that was great! Having a cocktail in my chairdesk.....
For some reason "chairdesk" just made me laugh.
Mr Cheri...ick.
I hated it when he would call the office on the bat phone and tell them to call the homes of students who were absent on test day.
Hey, I am just wondering, that girl Heather - who moved to Acton. What was her last name? If it is who I think it is, I remember, my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I driving in a rain forest on a dirt road in Costa Rica and picking up a girl hitch hiking with her boy friend called Snoopy. Must have been 1993. She was in 7th grade with us all at Hale school, but then moved. Same person? had a germanic sounding last name. Break out the Hale year book! Blonde, good looking gal. We were in the middle of nowhere and I was picking up a girl from Junior High. BTW - I hope someone brings the hale yearbook along to the reunion. I don't think I ever got a copy!
Going back to Donica's comment about the kids...Kyle just shaved for the first time this weekend. That was weird for me!
Heather Nordstrom?
I got a Hale Yearbook but I haven't seen it for probably 20 years. I'm hoping it's one of those things that my mother came across during one of her 'everything must go' cleaning sprees! That year book was almost as lame as our high school one.
Cuties to couples! ick.
No, not Heather Nordstrom - but that rings a bell too.
I think it began with an 'S' Schlangen or.. damn, can't remember.
Maybe Ursula Slate?
OMG-Ursula Slate - now theres a name from the past!
Pete - There was Laura Snelling - i thought she moved to Acton.
Hey Jeff - I remember Donna Robichaud. I think i actually have a picture of her somewhere. Ill have to dig it up
I was going to mention her too, but I thought Ursula sounded more "Germanic" than Laura Snelling.
That's it! Laura Snelling! Well done Hilaire! Yep, I picked her up in the middle of bloody nowhere on a dirt road, near volcano in 1993. The funniest thing was that when I knew her in 82. She was way taller than me and when I pick her up she like came up to my navel (well not quite that short). Now that shows what a small world it is. This must be a very borning blog for those from bolton or Lancaster - sorry.
OK, I need to give Amy her props because she came up with Laura Snelling.
I guess!!! You people have great memories. I think the doctor took mine out during the c-Section. Oh and I will bring my Hale School yearbook!!!I found it looking for incriminating pictures for this. I believe I also have 8th grade graduation pictures and Science Fair pictures as well!!!!OOOHHHH you do not want to see them.
We had a science fair? Was it optional? Please do not bring that yearbook. I like to forget the past...
HIl, you WANT to forget the past, but the voices in your head will not let you!!
Pete - Great to hear from you! Funny you should mention Harvard Acres. I was a little nostalgic a while ago, and while investigating real estate up that way I found my old house was actually on the market! Any guesses?? In 1977 my parents bought the house for $83,000. Earlier this year it was on the market for $520,000!!! Are you kidding me?? It was a phenomenal place to grow up though!
I just remember Mark Odom's mom HATING our dog who used to create mine fields in their lawn. She used to simply pick up the crap (literally) and hurl into our yard. Looking back, I think that's more funny now...lol.
Kris, bring that yearbook. I think my mom still has newspaper clippings in the Minuteman Press news(?)paper from our 8th grade -cough- graduation...hehe.
I'd prefer the incriminating photo's left at home! some of us were cute as preteens... others had an akward phase.
If you think about it, havard acres had a ton of kids from our class. mark augusta, matt sullivan, jeff foy , mark odom and rick holt to name but a few.
There was also me and Chrissy Lorenzo.
Do you guys remember "mr. Padula or Pick Nose Padula as he was called. And who was the math teacher who was always humping the wall oh Mr. Schofield?
Wait till ya see those year books. I even found the 7th grade one. I Know I'm a loser but it's funny!!!!
I think it was Mr. Bigham or Bingham that humped the wall between his math class and padula's social studies classroom. Amazing the things we remember of our youth...lol.
it was mr. brigham...he had that stupid poster of the dog "shultz"...i rememeber Donica shooting a giant spitball at me in his class and it landed on his shoulder....as he looked over to see what everyone was laughing at he caught sight of it and picked it off his shirt...spit and all...held it up and yelled "who did this?"..ahh classic moment from 8th grade
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